November 2024

Nikki Heyder

Beauty of the Month

This month, we’re shining a light on Nikki Heyder, a powerhouse in holistic wellness and a guide for anyone seeking more ease in life. Her work is rooted in helping people step into their truth, release self-judgment, and embrace the fullness of who they are. Nikki reminds us that growth, healing, and self-compassion aren’t just goals, they’re ways of living. Nikki Heyder is the lead facilitator at The Soul Institute, a holistic Psychotherapist, Somatic Coach, E-RYT, and Author of her new book, Good Enough.

PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF NIKKI HEYDER

"True beauty shines brightest when you’re at peace within yourself."

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How did you break out of the box of perfectionism?

Nikki Heyder: I broke out of the box of feeling ashamed for my sensitivity and was able to soften my perfectionistic tendencies & hyper-independence by accepting and embracing who I really am.

What advice would you give your younger self about the pressure to be perfect? 

Nikki: I would tell my younger self that it's OK to ask for help. That you don't need to do everything on your own. That "doing more" does not determine your value. That you can rest, and that it's OK to be soft and sensitive and big-hearted - that by being that way, you teach others to feel OK with their sensitivity too.

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"Doing more does not determine your value."

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How has your perception of beauty and success changed over the years?

Nikki: I used to think that success and beauty meant achieving validation from others - I was very conditioned by society to want to be 'seen' by others in a way which actually did not align with my core values, and so I would pursue those things often feeling disconnected, unsatisfied and burned out. Over time and through my own set backs in business (such as navigating near bankruptcy), I realized that success is about an intrinsic feeling of satisfaction, freedom, and of doing things because I wanted to be of support toward others - not because I wanted to be seen in a particular way. When I became a mother and having navigated the changes of pregnancy and birth, I re-assessed my beauty standards and was able to more deeply respect the capabilities of my body rather than wanting it to 'look' a particular way. The learning process has involved a lot of de-conditioning and un-learning in order to realize what is truly valuable and special for me as a person.

What helps you live authentically?

Nikki: Knowing what my values are and listening to my intuition. I think that this is a huge step which many of us miss - we don't take the time to truly ask ourselves: "Who is the version of me that is authentic?" or "What type of person do I wish to embody?". When we know our intrinsic values and have a strong connection to our intuition, they act as an inner guide or compass, which we can always check in with whenever we feel like life has pulled us off course.

How do you practice self-love?

Nikki: Self-love, to me, is deeply rooted in self-compassion and self-acceptance. When I can meet my critical thoughts or inner judgments or mistakes with validation, kindness, and understanding and, ultimately, accept my own humanness, my body feels safe, my mind feels at ease, and I am able to tap into that experience of 'self-love.'

What are ways you honor your body?

Nikki: For me, honoring my body really means to simply listen to its guidance. I believe a strong sense of interoception is required to be able to achieve this, which I often try to strengthen within myself through practices such as yoga, body scans, and pausing to listen to the cues of my bodily system. I have spent a lot of my life 'doing', and many times, doing more is not actually what my body craves. Being able to slow down, rest, eat nourishing foods, and adapt my exercise and work to suit my cycle have all been ways in which I offer greater respect to my physical being.

Nikki's Socials:

IG: @nikki.heyder

Website:

www.the-soul-institute.com

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