Bridgett Burrick Brown (00:24.558) Hi everybody, welcome back. I am Bridget Burrick Brown and I am your host. This is the Beyond Beauty Project, the podcast. And this is Beyond with B, I'm B. I think this is volume three or four. I don't know. I don't know which one it is. I already forget. So today we're going to talk about self care and how it's just gone so far from what it was created for in the first place, which is rest, restoration, rejuvenation, claiming, sometimes reclaiming agency over our lives and our bodies. It really began in more marginalized communities that really needed these practices. And now, you know, it's a billion dollar company or billion dollar industry that really profits off of us not feeling good enough. So we're going to just dive into all that stuff because I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Just working with like, you know, younger, younger girls having a preteen It's like the, I get that it's cute, the like morning routine or the night routine and like my daughter will like have really fun with it. And I actually, do think it could be really fun. I love like doing a hair mask and like stuff like that, but it's become almost this like thing you have to do. It's like a keeping up. It's a compare and despair. People are spending way too much money. Bridgett Burrick Brown (02:32.237) And there's always the next thing. There's always the next gadget, the next supplement, the next, I don't know, like lymphatic thing you need to add in. There's always something. it's never ending. It sounds exhausting to me. So let's break it down today and like help you sort of reclaim your self care and bring it back to this like... rest and rejuvenation and restoring and reclaiming agency over our bodies. So that is my goal for today. Bridgett Burrick Brown (03:21.294) So, you I mentioned that the self-care industry is a billion dollar industry and it's really pushing this aspirational lifestyle, right? So marketers use self-care to sell their supplements, their skin care routines, fitness programs and detoxes. But the messages, which is fine, some of those are great, you know. I love all that stuff. I'm always like, ooh, what's that? Body lotion, whatever. I try to check myself. But the problem is, is that the message that they send out to us to get us to purchase the products typically are kind of etching away at our self-esteem. It's basically like, you are not enough. You need to fix yourself. Let me... give you the magic solution, the supplement, and you will be better. You will be more beautiful, more skinny, more enough. So it's important to, I think, stop trigger buying and take a moment to say, do I need this? Is this going to enrich my life? Is it going to nourish me? Is it going to nourish my body? their body, not the TikToker influencer that you saw this thing on. Do I actually need this? This constant media messaging that's all around us and constant now too is social media just like reinforces like the doing more. Like the doing more will get us to be feeling better. Like, well, being and like wellness has become. Bridgett Burrick Brown (05:20.683) this. It can really, I think easily, and this is where we have to be careful, it can very easily tip into this idea of if you wanna live optimally, you want to look your best, then you have to live up to these wellness standards. And if you're not doing step A to Z, you are fired. I saw an influencer recently and she's beautiful and has glowing perfect skin and a toned body. But her list of what she needed to do and what she did every day, I actually thought it was a joke at first. And then I was reading, reading and I'm like, she's not joking. That is so exhausting and time consuming and I just think we don't need to do that. So it's like remembering like, Excuse me, my allergies, my Lord. So I think it's this sort of like perfectionism in disguise. And it can also make us feel like we're not doing enough or lazy. And it really becomes less about this actually feeling better or restoring and you know, like really loving on ourselves. And it can be exhausting because it's about doing more and like another thing on our checklist, right? So these are some red flags that I think you could watch out for when self-care becomes these things you have to do or almost self-criticism. I think Bridgett Burrick Brown (07:21.504) when you feel like you should do something, or you feel guilty when you don't do your full routine. I think that's a red flag. I think when you start comparing yourself to other versions of self care, especially if it's like their highlight reel, right? I think when your to-do list is like filled with wellness activities, but you still feel drained. So if on your to-do list or your daily schedule or your weekly schedule, your morning routine, your nighttime routine that you've created for, for yourself is filled with wellness activities, but you still are feeling drained. think you're almost. probably if I was going to guess, putting pressure on yourself like that you have to do all of these things to feel good. When I think if you would cut a couple of those things out, you might feel really good, actually feel really good. So I think the shoulds, the guilts, the comparing yourself, I think the feeling drained and not being able to like sort of check off all those wellness to do's. And I think when you have turned what should be sort of... Wait, hold on. What did I write here? Bridgett Burrick Brown (09:03.18) And I think the last one that's really important is when you've turned something that really should be intuitive and come from within such as self care, these self care practices, when you've turned something like that into something that needs to be measured, to be tracked, to be checked off, then I think you've sort of, you've just like, you've We've lost the point. We've lost the point. We got to get back on track. Bridgett Burrick Brown (09:51.79) Is this in? I don't know if this is in or not. I'm gonna chill out for a second. I'm just gonna lean back here. Bridgett Burrick Brown (10:04.014) this stuff don't eat a big salad before you start recording. Bridgett Burrick Brown (10:13.08) My mic is hooked up, right? Hold on. Bridgett Burrick Brown (10:20.892) wait, hello, hello? Yeah, okay. Bridgett Burrick Brown (10:39.224) So I think the, you know, when we turn these things in. Bridgett Burrick Brown (10:48.504) So, you I think that when we take these things that should be so intuitive, We steal these... Okay, let me say it again without... I'm sorry. It's the move. It is the move and the allergies. When we turn these things that should be intuitive, such as the self care that we need, our bodies need, our self needs, into these things that need to be tracked or checked off the to-do list, we're really missing these moments of true self care because we get detached from what our bodies ourselves intuitively need and we stop listening to that part of the equation. And this causes real things. It's causing, you know, emotional burnout because it gets exhausting. It's causing body image struggles because you're absorbing these like impossible beauty and wellness standards. And usually it's tied to a lot of toxic diet culture telling you be thinner, just all the toxic, like, counter calories restrict. And it's causing financial pressure. think people are overspending. They always need the next product to feel like they're going to be good enough. Bridgett Burrick Brown (12:39.534) And I think with that, there's this unfortunate unspoken message that's going out that if you don't or you can't afford these wellness products, then you're not as good as the rest of society. There's a real disconnect there. Bridgett Burrick Brown (13:10.574) Sorry, keep changing this. I think also, you know, there's this gender expectation for women specifically where self-care becomes this invisible second or third or fourth job, depending if you're a mother or working mother, have two jobs, you know, whatever all the other things that we do. And, You know, you're expected to look good. You better have glowing skin while you're doing it. And, you know, just stay balanced and very thin. And if you skip your wellness or your self-care, then you're lazy. You'll let yourself go and you just don't care about yourself anymore. So there's a lot of judgment, I think, that's happening around this within different communities. And I have seen it. I have felt it. So. Bridgett Burrick Brown (14:29.144) So basically the moral of that story is it's not optimal. It's this quiet expectation that we all carry around us that gives us more work as women. We already feel like we're drowning, you know? Bridgett Burrick Brown (14:53.004) Okay, so how do we reclaim our self care, right? I think it's really just starting with the basics. And I have this framework that I've built out that I'll do a solo episode on. But the first step of the five Rs is just to reflect. Take a moment to pause and think about how you take care of yourself. Like how do you show up for yourself? Does it feel forced? Does it feel like a should? Or does it feel like this genuine nourishing of yourself and your body? Bridgett Burrick Brown (15:41.014) I'm nervous. Bridgett Burrick Brown (15:58.254) So a very simple question you can ask yourself there is like, does this support me or does it pressure me? Am I being really genuine and authentic or am I performing? Because sometimes the hardest but best self-care is the toughest one. It's the saying no when you know maybe, you know, people will be disappointed. It's the taking the nap instead of pushing through and exhausting yourself. It's letting yourself cry in the shower or eating what your body truly wants, not the latest diet or, you know, restricting because, you know, you ate something bad the day before. And I think it's really pausing long enough to hear yourself, hear your intuition and letting that guide you because oftentimes listening to our intuition and letting us guide us can be challenging until it becomes this practice that gets easier over time. I'm really Bridgett Burrick Brown (17:31.5) Ahem. Bridgett Burrick Brown (17:42.318) So I think, you know, letting... my God, I'm sorry, Brian. Bridgett Burrick Brown (17:50.894) So I think it's, let self care be simple, let it be real, let it be for you and just start little by little asking yourselves these questions and see what you thin out and what you add in. Bridgett Burrick Brown (18:22.924) You can, when you get up in the morning, you can ask yourself, like, you know, what do I need today? If you're having like a tough moment throughout your day, that's a nice time to stop and reflect and pause and just check in and really say like, what do I need right now? What would be the most nourishing to myself, to my body? Not what I should do, but what do I need? some journal prompts that you could do if you have a pen and paper, write them down. But I think this is just going back to remembering just to check in with yourself regularly is again, like, but hold on. Bridgett Burrick Brown (19:13.354) Now that I don't Bridgett Burrick Brown (19:29.806) So I'm gonna leave you at the ending here with a couple journal prompts and an affirmation. But just before that, I just wanna remind you that like, you don't have to earn your worth by constantly being in motion. That is not self care. Self care is often, it needs rest. It needs quietness. needs stillness. It needs to do things that nobody else knows about. So we don't have to be busy and constantly in motion to earn our self-worth. Bridgett Burrick Brown (20:16.172) Okay, I want to leave you with two journal prompts. The first one is what part of my self-care feels performative or pressure driven versus supportive and nourishing? So what part of my self-care feels performative or pressure driven versus supportive? And then the second question you can ask yourself is, where am I shoulding myself? Shoulding. Shoulding. I thought of something else. Focus. So the second part is, you know, where am I shoulding myself? Like, where am I saying I should do an A to Z nighttime routine? That sounds so exhausting. I'm sorry. So where are you doing that, right? And I think a nice mantra that you could start saying is like, self-care isn't performative. It's a practice for myself. Self-care does not need to be pressure. It's a practice for myself. I hope that you always remember that no is a complete sentence and that is a big part of self care is having boundaries and saying no. And yeah, just a reminder that you are enough exactly as you are. You don't need to be better. You don't need to buy the next thing. You don't need to have another wellness activity or practice on your to do list to be enough. You are already enough exactly. as you are. Thank you so much for listening and being here. I will see you next time. Share this with a friend. We have our Dear Body line, our Dear Body collection coming out the beginning of June. So please keep an eye out on that. And don't forget that we offer workshops for preteens to college girls, actually for everybody, but I do a lot of work with girls. Bridgett Burrick Brown (22:43.874) We have our Be Beyond, which is our parent workshop, helping parents guide their little ones with body image. We have Beyond the Screen, is done, led by me and a cyber expert. And we talk all about social media and the harmful effects on that. And what else do we have? We have all kinds of stuff. So check out our website, go to our website, connect with us on Instagram. We're very active on Instagram. Instagram all the time. beyond.beauty.project and I will see you soon.