Dr. Morgan Francis on Body Trust, Belonging & Healing

Interviewed by Bridgett Burrick Brown

Dr. Morgan Francis joins Collective Beauty for a conversation about body trust, belonging, our complicated relationship with health, and what it can look like to move away from shame and toward a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.

Children aren’t born believing their bodies are a problem.

Bridgett: Children aren’t born worrying that their bodies are too big, too small, or wrong in some way. At some point, many begin absorbing messages about which bodies are considered desirable or worthy of acceptance.

How can parents help children hold on to that innate body trust as they grow up in a culture that constantly teaches them to question it?

Dr. Francis: One of the most important things parents can do is be very intentional about the messages children hear about bodies (both from us and around us). Children are naturally curious about their bodies; they don’t need to be taught to judge them. They learn that judgment when they repeatedly hear adults talk about dieting, weight, calories, “good” and “bad” foods, or how someone looks.

Parents don’t have to create a bubble around their child or prevent them from ever hearing harmful messages. Instead, we can help children develop a strong internal voice that says, “My body is not a problem to be fixed.”

That starts with modeling body respect at home:

1. Avoid criticizing your own body, 2. Avoid commenting on other people’s bodies, and 3. Talk about food and movement in terms of nourishment, enjoyment, strength, energy and health rather than weight or appearance.

I also want parents to remember that body trust is not the same thing as body confidence. We don’t need to teach children to love every part of their body every day. We want them to understand that their worth is never determined by how their body looks. When children come to us with body concerns, our job isn’t to immediately reassure them that they’re “not fat” or that they look “pretty”. Instead, we can get curious about where that message came from and help them question the idea that a certain body is more worthy than another.

The goal isn’t to raise children who never experience body dissatisfaction. The goal is to raise children who know that their bodies are allowed to change, take up space, be imperfect and still deserve respect.

Sometimes the desire to change our bodies is really a desire to belong.

Bridgett:  So much of body image goes beyond wanting to look a certain way; underneath it can be a very human desire to belong, be accepted, and feel worthy.

When someone begins asking themselves, “What do I need to look like to be accepted?” how can we help them recognize that their worth extends far beyond their appearance?

Dr. Francis: When someone says, “What do I need to look like to be accepted?” I want to slow that

question down, because there’s usually a much deeper question underneath it: “What do I believe I have to become in order to belong?”

That’s where the work really begins. We can help people recognize that changing their appearance may temporarily make them feel more accepted, but it can’t create a lasting sense of worth. There will always be

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About Dr. Morgan Francis

Dr. Morgan Francis is a Doctor of Clinical Psychology and a Licensed Mental Health Therapist working with individuals and couples. She is the owner of Scottsdale Premier Counseling in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her mission is to break through the mental health shame game. With over 20 years of experience specializing in the treatment of Body Image and Eating Disorders, Dr. Francis can empower you to make peace with your body and food. You can watch her as the Mental Health Expert for 12 News Arizona. She also serves as a public speaker and consultant on mental health, helping churches, schools, and community organizations. You can work with Dr. Francis by accessing her online courses or attending her webinars. Dr. Francis lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, with her husband, three children, and black lab.

Connect with Dr. Francis

Website: www.scottsdalepremiercounseling.com

Instagram: @drmorganfrancis